8 Deep Self-Reflection Questions Moms Forget to Ask Themselves

Self-Reflection Questions That’ll Help you Get to the Root of Stress

To get to the root of stress, we must always be reflective. This can be hard because we are always on the go and have a lot of responsibilities. In this article, we will explore 8 deep self-reflection questions that moms often forget to ask themselves or cast off as unimportant.

Reflecting on these 8 questions can help you:

  • identify sources of stress
  • prioritize your needs
  • develop a healthier sense of self
  • remember your purpose
  • keep your motherhood goals on track

Use These Reflections To Create Changes Towards Your Best Self

These questions are thought-provoking, yet can be triggering. If that’s the case for you, you know there is plenty of work to be done. This is where a lot of moms quit. They might think ‘This is uncomfortable so I better stop.’

But when we ignore the deeper problems for the sake of temporary relief, the source of stress remains. The longer it is put off, it can grow into weightier problems. Eventually you will have no choice BUT to face it. I encourage you, take the time right now to contemplate these deep self-reflection questions. Get on track to reducing stress at its source so you can bring out your best self.

If you want to go the extra mile for powerful results, consider writing out your answers as well as an action step in any stressful areas that needs changing.

Let’s dig in.

8 Deep Self-Reflection Questions to get to the Root of Stress

Mom shows affection for daughter. Deep Self-Reflection Question on Thought Bubble: Am I the mother I always hoped to be?

Self-Reflection Question 1:

Am I the Mother I Always Hoped to Be?

Follow-up Questions:

Am I meeting my expectations?

What is getting in the way of showing up as the mother I want to be?

I’m sure you have dreamt (especially in the early days of motherhood) of how you wanted to show up for your kids. Perhaps you spent time reflecting on your childhood upbringing and thought about what you’d like to implement or discard on your parenting journey.

However, you can fall short of your expectations. When you work against your better judgment and you don’t live up to your full potential, it can become a source of stress. Reflecting on your expectations and goals is a great practice to motivate you to get back on track. I must add, that perfectionist moms can be particularly hard on themselves, so make sure your expectations are reasonable and leave room for mistakes.

Self-Reflection Question 2:

Do I Take Care of Myself as Well as I take care of my Children?

Follow-up Questions:

If the answer is no, why not?

Is it due to feeling a lack of time?

Do I avoid taking care of myself because of feelings of unworthiness?

How does it affect the way I show up for my family?

Self-care for moms is important. According to Very Well Mind, when you take care of yourself, you’re more likely to be happier and have more fulfilling relationships.

When self-care becomes a habit, you can remain solution focused and navigate well through stressful situations instead of losing your cool. You also set an example for your children on how they should care for themselves when they are adults.

Smiling Young Mom holds up heart sign. Self-Reflection Question on Thought Bubble: Do I love myself?

Self Reflection Question 3:

Do I Love Myself?

When I was first asked this question it threw me for a loop! I struggled with answering. And the fact that I struggled was a huge wake-up call for me. I knew I needed to do something about it.

Every relationship needs to be fed, and that includes the relationship you have with yourself. Whether or not you feel loved by yourself, you can start making loving choices for yourself and work on your relationship. 

  • Make time for what is important to you.

Self-love multiplies. When you choose to love yourself better you will be happier and kinder to others. You also teach your kids to value themselves!

Used paint brushes in a cup aside used paint pallet. Deep Self-Reflection Question on Thought Bubble: Am I the mother I always hoped to be?

Self Reflection Question 4:

What are my Current Passions?

This is an important question I ask mothers. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard mothers respond with ‘I don’t know.’ They get caught up in motherhood and forget what used to bring them joy.

Follow-up Question:

What did I do for enjoyment before I had kids?

As your life gets busier with children, the things you enjoy can take a backseat. If you aren’t careful, they can get lost along with a piece of yourself. Carve out time each week to make time for what you enjoy. Consider trying new things you’ve never done before to spark joy.

Self-Reflection Question 5:

When was the Last Time I Went on a Date with my Husband?

Follow-up Questions:

Has it been too long?

What’s getting in the way?

Who could help us with this?

Having five kids and no family around to help babysit was one of the toughest things that got in the way of my husband and me from going out. I struggled with finding babysitters, trusting babysitters, and then the cost of hiring a babysitter. Putting all that into consideration, going on a date was a rare treat. Too rare!

It wasn’t until years later that I found a friend who was willing to trade babysitting once a month so we both had an opportunity for a night out with our spouses. We didn’t know what we were missing! Putting date nights on the calendar brought in some novelty and gave us time to talk without distraction.

Having regular date nights with your hubby is just one important way to stay connected with to your spouse and help strengthen your marriage. Children will reap the benefits of having happily married parents that extends throughout their adult life.

Self-Reflection Question 6:

When was the Last Time I Went out BY MYSELF?

According to Forbes, there are many science-backed benefits to spending time alone such as increasing your empathy, productivity, and creativity. It also allows you to get to know yourself and plan your life so you can live it to the fullest!

When I first became a mom, I couldn’t get away. I cherished every moment with my babies and I didn’t want to miss a beat.

I remember the first time that I went somewhere without my babies to do some shopping. I was looking pretty frumpy wearing maternity clothes months after giving birth. As I headed to the mall, I felt an intense feeling of loneliness.

I reflected on the times before kids when I would love to be alone. I remembered feeling confident and comfortable when I was alone. Yet at this time, I felt naked without having a child attached to my hip. I also felt vulnerable and insecure.

I had to think about what to do with this new change in myself that I didn’t struggle with before having kids.

Should I just go back home where I feel comfortable and secure?


Should I take this as a sign, that I need to do this more often?

I’d love to say that from that day forward I challenged myself to go out alone more often and gained a better sense of myself, however, I chose the comfort of not going out alone again unless I had no choice.

I know now that challenging myself to go out every once in a while for a date with myself would have been the right way to go. Having that needed alone time would have helped me maintain a healthy sense of self and grow in confidence.

Mom shushes son as she scrolls through iphone. Thought Bubble: When was the last time I was able to be present with my children?

Self-Reflection Question 7:

When was the Last Time I was Able to be Present with my Children?

Follow-up Questions:

What makes it difficult for me to be present?

What is it costing me when I am not present?

What change(s) do I need to make?

Do you find yourself distracted by thinking about all that needs to be done (or actually doing them) while trying to be present with your kids? This can be difficult, especially when you are feeling overwhelmed. Studies have shown that playing with your child can develop their social skills, self-control skills, and increase your child’s competence. You know it’s important, but how do you stay present and enjoy this time with your child?

Changes will have to be made. It might require denying distractions and bringing yourself back to the present moment when your mind wanders. This requires hard work and focus but gets easier with practice.

This can also be practiced through meditation exercises. This can be done with the kids as well. Or maybe you set aside some time before you play with your kids to relax and ease into the present moment when task switching.

Deep self-reflection can help you discover what’s making it difficult for you. Implement the changes needed and playtime can become a fun and engaging time for you and your children.

Mom in cardigan deep in self-reflection Thought Bubble: What do I need right now?

Self-Reflection Question 8:

What Do I Need In This Moment?

This is such a basic yet important question we should be asking ourselves each day, perhaps several times throughout the day. When you listen to your response you might find yourself answering something as simple as ‘I need to take a deep breath.’ Or something deeper might come up for you such as ‘I need a vacation!’

Feeling Too Overwhelmed to Start?
Tip: Break it Down
When working on yourself and towards your goals is too overwhelming, try to break it down to the smallest task you can. Even if it means picking a task that is so easy you cannot fail.

-Best Self Mom

Change Requires Action

If any of these questions helped you recognize an unfulfilled need of yours, it’s time to take action. As I said earlier, for more powerful results, consider writing your answers down and developing action steps to create change. Consider making your action steps into S.M.A.R.T. goals to ensure success.

If you had trouble with more than one of these questions and you are feeling overwhelmed with where to start and want some accountability in place, consider signing up for the Best Self Mom signature coaching program where we can work together through one-to-one sessions and develop a self-care plan unique to you!

Wrapping Up:

These deep self-reflection questions hit a variety of issues that can cause setbacks when it comes to hitting your mom goals. Regular self-reflection can help you unveil your deepest needs and get to the source of stress. It can help you stay on track, moving towards your full potential. Make time to meet your needs and choose to love yourself so that you can share your best self with your family.

Practice it, Model it, Achieve it!

Author: Tiphany Janik
Self-Care Coach For Moms

Are you a stressed-out mom? If so, grab this free 12-page self-care kit here to help you de-stress in 2023. I’ve been stressed out, burned out, and basically wanted out. The tools and strategies I share in this kit and throughout Best Self Mom have helped me revolutionize my self-care and bring out my best self. If you are ready to show up for your family like never before, let’s chat!

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